355/366: shine

so much has happen within my virtual absence, i'm sure everyone agrees.
2012 was like a bullet train to me, yet every moment was appreciated to the fullest.
moments of joy, tears, slack, work.

i'll be moving 2 times in the next 2 weeks, one just nearby, and the other abroad.
i'm so excited for new beginnings but in the same time, i will always cherish everything in the past.
there's so many photos to be screened, and stories/events/testimonies to be blogged about..

when 2013 finally arrives, may i have time for all those!

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288/366: maybe

maybe it's finally time to not run away from this blog.
maybe it's fine that i deleted 170 blogs from my google reader recently, just because i need a time out.
and somehow because i feel that if the blogs i used to subscribe to really matter, i'll remember their link.... or to google their link, and i would subscribe to them again when i restart.
maybe it's okay to feel hurt from the way things are, and how some friends are. maybe it's true that we don't wake up everyday to please everyone.
maybe it's fine for me to mention here that i'm really blessed, and grateful to God at the end of each day, no matter what happens.
maybe it's completely normal to want to have less of an online presence.
and maybe, in the process of all the maybe's, and more maybe's: that maybe, once upon a time what my English primary teacher told me is true:

that maybe actually means 70% yes.

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251/366: CFmakan

Went back to my high school's CF makan. It's an annual event, the last CF meeting of the year.

Was blessed to be able to share a short testimony on how I was transformed from an incredibly shy and fearful girl, to someone brave enough to stand and speak in public; on how the blood, sweat and tears shed while I served was worth it; and how I considered lives changed a complete joy; all this I thank God because it happened during my 3 years in CF. I closed off with a simple hope, that one day each one of them would leave high school with a testimony that God has changed their lives, small or big.

Paul then shared a message on Fulfilling dreams and hopes. It was so funny, he's an engaging speaker. And I'm just so blessed to learn from him :')

Eating, catching up with juniors/seniors/teacher: YAY!
Clearing up after it all: boo :P


Bathed, walked my dog.

Been able to chat with some people as I messaged them to help Like a picture for a contest on Facebook........ catching up is nice.

I'm walking down memory lane :'3

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247/366: grateful

I spent quarters of the morning hours, contemplating, lashing my frustration/thoughts to my parents... whether or not to participate in an upcoming piano competition.

Until I heard the sound of the postmen's motorcycle engine, my heart was confident that mail was for me: and indeed it was.

My piano exam' results. Here. Now. Then. Wow.

My fingers quickly yet gently tore the seal open, and as I took out a thin pile of papers, surely it was divine that the first thing I read, was my result score in an upside down mode. The folded score sheet is thinner than the usual paper, hence see-through.

My heart skipped.


........ Really, seriously, I got 112...?

For those who have no clue, for ABRSM piano practical exams: 100 is the passing mark. 120 marks merit, and 130 is the minimum for the ultimate beautiful distinction.

Months ago I set my goal to obtain distinction. Through this short period of 5 months from March to July (in fact just 4 + 1/2 months as I was abroad for 2 weeks, absent from piano practice).......... I was level headed in the beginning. Then I was distracted. This and that. After returning to Malaysia I began to run again. Time was running out. Big time.

Blood, technically. Sweat, literally. Tears, yeah.
Cash, out. Time, gone.

Having Asian parents, deep down I know that they are contented, but maybe not satisfied enough. I couldn't take it, but now I understood that hey, they probably know me better. And yeah they do.

Given less, or even zero procrastination, tiredness, and laziness; Given more time, discipline, and passion: I would have achieved my goal.

But during the crucial final week I realize I would gladly accept a pass. Truth be told, I wasn't good enough. Really, no joke.

The big "confirmation" came when I fumbled during the exam. During my first exam piece I had to restart as I failed to move on when my fingers stopped halfway through the first piece all a sudden. I blanked out. I couldn't continue. After the restart.... guess what? Same place. Same mistake. But I had to go on. I couldn't restart again. Too much to even ask the examiner.

Hence after skipping a few bars, I moved on. I won't go into detail regarding the other sections, but the main highlight was that after not sitting exams for close to 5 years (where before that I actually took exams consecutively for 6 years)......... the whole examination experience was so strange to me.
Cold fingers. Fast heartbeats. Over-caring of what the examiner is doing (major mistake).


I cried after the exam. Don't call me weak, it was just natural to.

But to wrap everything up right now, I'm so grateful. To God, for assuring me that I've passed since that moment itself. I actually dreamt of vaguely receiving my results (maybe failing), and when I actually heard more stories of my friends who failed their Grade 8's, I freaked.

Nothing matters now.
Not what I played, not the money spent, not the time invested, not the time wasted, not the worries....

But just a bucket of thankfulness to God, my wonderful supporting family, amazing supporting friends, and definitely not forgetting: my most current teacher (which I only started lessons with this March), who is also the best teacher I had so far.

It was a bitter sweet journey, I'll treasure it for the rest of my life.
Exams are so overrated especially in Asian countries, but maybe when we do it for the right reasons (a goal to achieve, a ground to stretch us, a platform to discover where we stand)........ then maybe, just maybe: Exams could be just a blessing to us.

Sorry for this immensely long, draggy post.
Hope it doesn't comes off as anything displeasing/negative.


(picture soon, heh)
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242/366: 12345

Just finished writing this down. Planning to read 1 fresh book per week until end of the year. Ironically if we count Dec 31st-Jan 6th as the last week, then I would have read 19 books which would be my age then! Hehe.

Funny how as I grow up I read more non-fictional books. But also less time and passion to read compared to years ago, sadface. Anyhow, why 1 book per week....?

As the title is 12345, I'm here to share what I've been planning to do:

Every week:
1 book to read
2 (to be finalised)
3 occasion' photos to be fully sorted
4 days to exercise
5 letters to write

Why? Just because scheduling this will hopefully discipline me and pull me away from that stinky thing call 'procrastination'. That i will be forced to prioritise properly. To do what's important, not urgent. My health needs to be restored, thousands(boo, not exaggerating) of photos to sort, knowledge needed to be absorbed... And yeah....

Hopefully things will work out.

Can't believe it's going to be September already.

Other daily things that is harder to have a fix schedule: chores, practice, housecleaning, meeting people, music, family....... Woo! Life with schedules and without.

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237/366: clothes

it was a fun day... dealing mostly with clothes.

today i spent most of the day continuing the de-cluttering process of my clothes.. and it's really time-consuming to try on some outfits, & look at the mirror to think whether i still need 'em... but really it's a rewarding process when i feel like i'm letting go of what i don't need anymore, and allowing other people that need/want them to be able to enjoy them!! :D i cleared my clothes months ago, but this time round it's a real clearing deal. now to think whether i should give them all to lessay salvation army or something...? (haven't tried SA before that's why), or should i ask my friends if they want some of the the still-good ones... like formal outfits, t-shirts etc? hmm... suggestions? ideas? stories?

still not done with them clothes, but will be finalising everything hopefully asap hehehe.

spent the night with mummy! quality mummy-daughter time..! went to Summit as she needed to print some photos using negatives! Summit has been revamped and it's stylish nice now!! we went to Salvation bookstore, and hanged around boutiques to kill time.

I tried this dress and it cost RM105 but I didn't get it.

Later my mum and I found real discount deals of other dresses.... And let's just say we're home happy.


Oh btw, convinced my mum to buy a book called "I Want To Talk With My Teen About Money Management"... Hahaha.

Mummy says I'll be a good mother next time but really, I doubt so, because I know how hard it is to stay sane as a mother!

I talked too much today!!!!! Sorry!!!!

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236/366: livestrong

I apologize for the crappy pic quality, hopefully soon I'll be uploading good quality pics again! No longer iPod..

Found this wristband I had since years ago. Can't remember when, and I don't know if "livestrong" has any other meaning.. But to me it's very empowering.

Wearing this for the rest of the week. Hopefully when I'm demotivated... looking at it will encourage me.

Life's a walk, a climb, a fight. Be strong because you have to.

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233/366: bookfest

(Monday, 20.08)

Just one of the things I bought today. It's been long since I bought so much stuff. I can't disclose the total damage done!


So many books, and books, and stationeries, and stuffs, and CROWD !

nicely organised really.

Great experience for anyone.

I'm so thankful for my cousins who brought me there. And because of my neice, we ate pizza hut for lunch and KFC for dinner... Hahaha.

And you don't want to know the amount of air I passed after I came home...

*cough* TMI *cough*

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232/366: dream

it's 1.27am and i should be running freely in dreamland.. but my tummy made empty urges... and i spiced up the weirdest supper combo ever! bak choy, milo, & a banana?!!



since last midnight i was dream-catching. every day this year i've been collecting tons of inspirations & had composed dreams (in my mind) during the free time i had.. & finally i'm penning down several small & big dreams that was always at the back of my head.

some are meant to be fulfilled by year end & some in the near & far future.

career-based. fun-based. passion-based ! wee.

one of them hopefully to be executed soon is my main blog.

blogging has inevitably been a part of my life since i was 14. there were years where i updated weekly, others monthly, and maybe even just a few times that year.

so much time, and effort, and joy invested that i can't give up on it. learned and grew. made friends thru blogging. had a friend who went around asking "so my blog is better than tziying's right?"

the blogosphere !

i used to blog about the casual things a teen would blog about, but entering "adulthood" and a sense of "maturity"... i'm now much excited to blog beyond "today... i this, i that" and all. nothing wrong about that, but there is more in my dreams...

determined to be followed up with my dreams.


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231/365: feast

Top 2: Korean set lunch!
Finally, 1st time trying out DaeJangGum @ Taipan! Worth it, only RM13 and it's filling to the core.

Bottom 2: Bazaar for dinner!
It's a bum that I've missed out the crowd. Yet the remaining stalls are still delish. Satay, lemang, ayam, apam balik.... Classic!

Yummy day.

The streets are half empty, safer to drive for an amateur like me, hehe.
Almost every time before I drive I seek God for protection.... amazing really because there were several "almosts" that I'm so grateful to have escaped!

My camera's battery charger is yet to be found!! The horror.
Distance is making my heart cry...


There's about 20 boxes waiting to be unpacked for keeps, throw, and give. Perhaps even sell. Remember my initial plan was to clear them throughout the next few months? Like 1-3 boxes per week?

That plan is SCRAPED.

I'll have to get it all done in 1 week! Or at most 2.

Because clutter is unbearable. And I'll need to move on from it all !

Woooooh. If only my camera is able to document the process :(((((

SelamatHariRaya, kawankawan.

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230/366: rain

"So, was it romantic walking under the rain?"

My father is the funniest !!

" let the rain fall down, and wake my dreams. let it wash away, my sanity "

indeed, the rain woke me up


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229/366: bones

currently i'm lying on my bed, contemplating whether to continue sinking into the depths of this book, which i stole today. interestingly, i'm not that guilty.

the first chapter is already so painful to bear. such immediate revealing details, unlike the movie.

come, tell me my rm25 flats was a steal. comfortable, above all.

nobody will ever understand, but really, i can't wait to leave a place where i'm sinking.

deep down the drain.
or maybe into a pool of light.

either way, giving up seems easier always.

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228/366: foldover


Collected my baby camera today, back from the hospital.

Can't wait to execute pictures my mind has been dreaming of. Distance really made my heart grew fonder.

Tried my first Chicken Foldover today! Yum Yums.

Extremely bloated after, sigh, my tummy needs time to grow back it's appetite.

Also, drove on the highway today.. Last time I did that was a long time ago. Malaysia is crowded with bizarre drivers!!

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227/366: renewed

(counter clockwise)

1. Thank God I'm finally healed from random sicknesses I've had for the past 2 weeks! They happened consecutively but some overlapped which was like double illness? boo. I went to the doctor's 5 times in 2 weeks, which is more than the amount of me seeing the doctor in the past 2 years!! Say what.

Here's what it was (in order, somewhat): Neck stiffness, flu, one-sided head pain, mild food poisoning, sensitive bowel, diarrhoea and finally fever!! I've never experienced most of what I've mentioned, which made things weird. They sound not so bad, but I tell you I had to resort going to the doctor's because it was really unbearable.. *sniffs* Diarrhoea was the worst because i despise vomiting. Lost of appetite was terrible, so terrible. Plus side of everything is: I've learnt A LOT. Doctor told helpful knowledge, health is important, need exercise.... Proper sleep & food.. (mummy's grounding me at the moment to eat home cooked food)..... And also to be touched by caring family & friends. Plus being able to rest and talk to God more. Yay for no more sickness.

2. Wee wee wee, so this was my tweet last night, so 2 weeks ago my piano exam ended & I ended up sick.... So many things couldn't be done/ate. Caught pretty much Olympics and I will blog about it! Anyway... This tweet is me being excited about the rest of the year, I'm planning so many things to be done: music, photography and art to be enjoyed, books to read, people to meet, places to go, projects to complete, clutter to clear, family to knit, stories to be heard, stories to tell....... etc etc ! Soooo excited because hopefully i'll be creating what my head has been holding up: a jumble of surprises..... and dreams and desires. And, remaining gap year goals to be fulfilled ! Things may fail, but things will succeed too !

3. This book !!!! Thanks to my awesome friend Felicia Low which probably appreciates the same kind of books like I do... This book is hers, and I'm only at the beginning but it's good. I'm absorbing well. Some people tickle at the fact that I am not sure what I want to study yet, and I'm taking a gap year? But hey, this gap year is amazing and I really needed it. I'm on my way.... I'm not completely directionless, I just think differently at the moment. *coughs* :p

4. I am showing off my long fringe.
I am goofing around.
I am vain, sigh. I apologize.


Sorry for the long hiatus, y'all understand right? But hey, CLAIRE'S BACK ! :D :D

To conquer what life throws.

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202/366: desperate

(20/07/2012, Friday)

the picture below is what's in front of me now. i'm guilty of floor mess.

'desperate' is the word.

i'm desperate for the healing of my neck
i'm desperate for me to play the piano better
i'm desperate for me to sleep earlier each day

there's a pool of inspirations and a beach of worries on my mind,

how contradictory

Claire, focus .

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201/366: oxymoron

writing/receiving cards make me happy.

does anyone gets excited with letters like me?


today i was fed up with 2 different customer service i received. guess it's a hard line to work in.... but i think that they should always service with a smile. not literally but technically.


drove around a few areas around USJ. bumped into a corner pavement, didn't see it coming.

pretty minor but still...

shocked. scared. shattered.



a break.

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200/366: diptic

Tonight, if you don't have Diptic in your iPhone/iPod/iPad yet, go install it, because it's FREE! :D

for a week or something idk but i've just been so happy since ytd when I accidentally found out that it is free at the moment !

usually it costs $0.99 or $1.99 !

I found out about this app months ago and wanted so bad to get it because it could make the edges of images round, just like the previous post's image! but I didn't because my iPod is not jailbreak-ed and I have not... Purchase any paid apps yet..

Hence when this happened it's like CONFETTIS all over in my mind!


Also, check out my currently favorite photography apps that I really wanna share too!

1. Disposable:
free app, film-like feature! for instance, you'll have to take finish 24 shots to be able to "dispose" your film/camera then only you'll get to view the pics! super fun for me. pictures has film-like effect which is YAY!

2. Line Camera:
created by the same company that made the LINE messaging app, this camera app consists many pretty filters, and many frames which i seldom use! And all the hilarious LINE stickers or beautiful stickers too! pictures taken are in the Instagram-square size which I love :3

3. Snapseed:
another paid app which i downloaded when it was free! really blessed because i was also eyeing on it after hearing that it is good, and the price is $4.99 i think! got the shock of my life then lol. one favorite feature i adore is that it allows the centre focus(blur strength).. and actually load more cool stuff which i have yet to discover!


random post... today i endured backache. and a couple more weird things.

waiting for the post man waiting for a parcel im waiting im waiting the wait is excruciating ahhhh


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199/366: worn

(17.07.12, Tuesday)

can you see past the weariness in my eyes,
will you take me by the hand and tell me that everything will turn out fine, like always?
in a world so judging and harming,
will you remain trusting me, and will i likewise?


not drinking enough water = weird faeces .
weird sleeping / sitting position = back ache .
excessive durian = tummy ache .
abnormal crave for tomyum, prawnmee, & kimchi = unsatisfied taste buds .


every night i do have something to blog
but ive been waking up the next morning instead

get it?


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195/366: see


i hope the picture doesn't scare you as how it somehow scares me

regardless of how physically weak i feel, my mind has been very actively collecting inspirations :

through learning from incidents
through passionate people
through remembering dreams ;

2 Fridays from now i'll be meeting my London examiner

there's a set of things i'm incredibly anticipating to do after that

these last days are gonna be intense

i can't slack anymore

i wanna enjoy these last moments
to really breathe playing the piano
to be fine staying at home
and rejecting or postponing outings
to eliminate distractions
to fall in love with the mundane black and white keys

to seize the journey
and to not focus too much on the destination

guess i'm a little dramatic
it's 2 a.m.

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193/366: dead

Today we finally finished clearing the old house.. Including bringing the fishes over..

Honestly I never expected them to leave.. As u can see from the picture, the 2 fishes floating on top are already dead. The 1 on the bottom was still alive.

But as I'm writing this, the only 1 left is already floating... Yet still breathing. The way he(or she) is fighting for his life really, really touches me.


So I drafted the above around evening... And right now I have to tell you the last fish lost its battle.

The hardest part is seeing someone die right in front of your eyes.

As we were clearing my late grandpa's old stuff.. I couldn't take it. Although he has so little things.

I guess the hardest part of letting go of someone who has left... Is when you come into contact with things that triggers your whole being into remembering them. Fragments of memories..... everywhere.

Appreciate everyone.
Including your beloved animals :')

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190/366: ET

Lemme explain counter clockwise!

1. Went to KLCC for the 2nd time this year. It's wow, because I've been there less than 10 times my whole life! Time to camouflage myself as a tourist.

2. The main purpose was to watch a family orchestra called "Orchestra from Planet X"! Super funny because it's catered to family, which means loads of kids, hence there were 2 mime performers as Aliens to shake up the usual serious, quiet audience. 2nd time seeing MPO after years. Great performance. Inspired once more...... Happy to have got the chance to watch an orchestra with the whole fam for the first time.

3. Then we ate 50% off price' dimsum @ spring garden! It's funny because after 50% off, it's still equivalent to 100% dimsum' price in Subang. Oh and that's the orchestra ticket I deemed cool to be placed beside the pork bun.

4. Beautiful lighting after entering the main entrance of KLCC!!

5. I've been wearing brown contact lens for the first time since a couple of days ago. You probably can't see it but it's interesting.

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189/366: dreams


Meet Sam, Alicia, and Grace.
Together their initials spell G.A.S.!


Great evening attending church service with them, & I signed up for Emerge KL 2012 with Aly, I'm slowly getting stoked about it !

We ate Thai food, Grace bought muruku(s), then we wandered in Mr.D.I.Y., and talked (and laughed) endlessly about the most random things. It's just plain, cosy company to me!


This morning I've also been catching up through email/fb msg/sms (consecutively) with 1 friend who's currently in U.S., 1 friend who came back from the states, and another who came back from Aussie.

I don't know how to describe this but as I push myself out of my comfort zone to meet new people, and to connect with old friends that are beginning to scatter globally....... It's wow, because listening to and talking about stories, and dreams; situations, and opportunities: really empowers me. Sounds weird but I'm just learning a lot.

2012, I've been taking everything as a learning process, and I'm really grateful that God pushes me for my good, and I'm slowly heading towards who I'm called to be.

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187/366: magical

(picture will be uploaded as soon)

tonight has been the most magical night, and if i don't write now, i fear i may forget what i'm feeling this instance, and whatever post after this attempting to describe what i feel now, could not match thence

death cab for cutie's transatlanticism is calming me,
as my fingers knit these
this song will never get old,
it's beauty transcends a thousand pop songs

to sum it all up i feel very blessed because of the small things that happened today
just grateful
through the tiny things that our love ones do
we can actually find blots and blots of care and love, all in disguise

bible study this morning, the hunger for God's word is growing incredibly
the piano tuner came after, i conclude that he's the best tuner i've met
my evening was spent admiring sunset, taking pictures with a simple camera that produced an amazing documentation of the wonderful moment spent
simple, affordable, fantastical thai dinner @ ihadthai, taipan

05072012, this special day was enchanted

& also because reading this just blew me away
the fuel driven to pursue one's passion, simply amazing

i'm so full of inspiration right now
as you've come to the end of this post, i intend to leave you nothing but hope

that if you have a massive dream, go for it
and if you're thinking of ending your life, don't.
until you're meant to

life and everything life has to offer.

i'm ready.

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186/366: pumpkin

I'm sorry to say I will always dread consuming pumpkin.

I'm delighted to say that I will always anticipate munching onto garlic bread.

By pumpkin I mean, pumpkin soup, pumpkin desert, pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread.......

& by garlic I also mean raw garlic, steam garlic, fried garlic.....

And you've just wasted about a minute(or less) of your time reading this totally useless post!

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185/366: alan

This picture is incredibly hilarious to my brother and I.... because he took it and he claims that my facial expression is somewhat similar to one of the trollface expression!

Daddy's birthday today.
Dimsum in a big restaurant with only us as customers (pretty cool).
Dinner at home with champagne which I could only stand a sip (ha).
RT Cheesecake with an extremely rich cheesy taste.

all these but most memorably:

Laughter and inside jokes that only my family understands.



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184/366: knock

i've been driving a tiny bit lately.. and today i, myself, caused my, first knock for overestimating the space (in contact with the house gate, while trying to reverse in).............. literally in 'sad face' mood now.

so this is how it feels like after your first bump.

i need to buck up on my "reverse(s)" and parkings !

(i can't let my younger brother laugh at me anymore)

p/s: he literally came to the 'rescue' by directing me how to turn when i got panic........ ahhh, embarrassed now..

(runs and buries face in a hole)

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183/366: apps

(01.07.2012, Sunday)

so i'm deleting all these apps till i need 'em again.... app' spring cleaning lol !

the most apps i have are related to photography.

so hard to delete even one of those.


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182/366: stories

(30.06.2012, Sat)

What's your story?

Everyone has one.
Or tons.

Today I am greatly reminded that everyone's life story is so uniquely personal.. And being able to meet different kinds of people who share various stories... Is just plain amazing.

Some people are like an open book, and some a reserved soul. Either way everyone's incredible, just because.

Cheers to the beautiful strangers that we are bound to meet!

p/s: meet my super lame, yet amazing neighbour, Sam! :D


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181/366: puchong

(29.06.12, Sat)

Yay! Tiny trip to Puchong to visit le Sher at her baking academy :3

1. Random car stories/jokes = Interesting
2. Lovely smell of butter in the academy = Gah!
3. Ate Lei Char for the first time during lunch at a coffee shop name Double D (LOL) = I'm sorry.... The name's just wrong to me x)
4. Finally bought clothes railing at Giant Puchong = Yipeee!

Just a nice afternoon to Puchong, with ze fav bunch of people <3

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180/366: faith

" now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see "
( hebrews 11:1 )

" it is a deliberate decision to put one's full trust in the character of God to do what He has promised "

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179/366: countdown


......... My piano teacher asked me this morning.

Today marks One month countdown until my judgement day on 27/07.

I actually didn't reply her question.

Truth is, I'm not done with the exam syllabus. My fingers slip quite often into a pool of mistakes. I'm nervous. I procrastinate.

Yet I do have sprinkles of confidence within me.

After class this morning I came home and had my butt glued on the piano seat....... with short intervals of drinking water, reading newspaper, and random snacking. In jubilee mood because I am getting more focus (hopefully).

Despite lacking time, time, and time, despite not having enough stamina, flexibility and knowledge; what is delightful is that sheets of purely black and white music scores....... can actually produce vibrant splashes of colors and rich emotions..... when played with a whole heart, soul, and mind.


I am not prepared, yet.

But I will be.

p/s: FilterMania 2 + Snapseed + FrameMagic was used for this picture.... Amazing apps I tell you! ;D

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178/366: tomorrow

The Chinese words on the picture says "Tomorrow It Will Be Better".

My dad taught me that.

Hayley William's song 'Breathe' has part of a lyric that goes something like this: "Breathe for love tomorrow, for there's no hope for today."

Today was a decent day but weirdly I'm not in the best of mood now. Hence, tomorrow is a great reminder that there will be a brand new 24 hours to appreciate.

Thank God.

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177/366: symphony

(25.06.2012, Monday)

Spontaneous last minute decision with mummy to watch the Queensland Youth Symphony perform at Dewan Filharmonik Petronas, KLCC!

The hall was described as glorious by the conductor! Really, beautiful.

The pianist was quite adorable! Got my fangirl moment during the interval... Picture and autograph... Hehehe.

Splendid. Great acoustics in the hall.
Funny crowd that claps endlessly (culture?).
Them youths passionate with their instruments = inspiring !

The last time I saw an orchestra performance was when I was 14! Definitely won't wait that long for my next one.

If you're a Malaysian and have never been to any MPO performances/DFP showcase.... You should because it's a great experience.

Unless you find orchestra music boring!

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176/366: express

I drew to express my emotions.

It doesn't make sense, just playing around.

After my piano exams I have so many things I wanna do, including experimenting with art.

But right now I need to put my head into the game. I need to embrace this process. I need to stop wishing it away. I had a 'wake up call' dream last night.

Honestly I've been practicing.
Honestly it's not enough.
Honestly I need to prioritise more.
Honestly today I'm down.
Honestly I'm blaming on the female monthly friend/enemy.


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175/366: gone

(23.06.12, Sat)

You know sometimes when a friendship/relationship didn't work out, you still secretly wish the other party their best, and part of you still cares no matter how you try not to, or how people usually attempt to ignore their true feelings?

Why do people behave that way?

Why do some people in our lives go back to becoming strangers to us? The first stage?

Why do they rip off the little of what's left of what used to be, in order to leave us empty when we unconsciously end up reminiscing?

Everyone hurts. And we either keep hurting ourselves by running away and shaking off every past, or by forcing ourselves through the hurt to finally reach healing. Run or force?

I wonder why.


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172/366: boxes

So my plan of stacking boxes succeeded (mentioned in yesterday's post).

Today is officially Claire's most tiring day in 2012.

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171/366: repositioning

Set this picture as my iPod's lock screen, so that every time I intend to procrastinate, I'll be somewhat reminded that I should be practising instead. Focus.

This picture was taken this morning at my family's new humble home. One empty house with only a piano, it felt like I was performing on stage where the sound was so loud, clear, and echoey. Creepy at first, but it felt wow later on.

Packing commences. I don't know how what where why who.... but it seems like I have kazillions of loose paper (printed, handwritten, empty) in my current bedroom....... even though I pretty much recycle a whole lot of paper about every beginning and end of the year!

Right now there's no time for me to select whats for keep, recycle, throw, and give..... but to literally chunk everything into boxes and boxes! Ok. The idea is to stack them all up to the top, in a corner of my new room.... And when my piano exam is over by end July, I'll unpack and sort hopefully one box per week.

Then, I'll be a clutter-free and organised princess.

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170/366: sentimental

Packing my jewellery and couldn't resist taking a picture of this.

Found so much old stuff etc. camp and event participation name tags!

To throw or not.

Why do humans cling onto things?

I don't know if it makes sense but I'm clearing stuff and thinking ahead, like whether the 25-year-young Claire would throw away said items. Or will the 57-year-old Claire be grumpy if there are mountains of unnecessary stuff compiled over the years !


Go clean a drawer, and tell me what you threw away and what you kept.

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169/366: cost

Mum bought a tripod for me that cost RM199. The funny thing is that I keep pondering whether it's worth it.

Like normal girls my age would probably be buying fashionable stuffs(which i would want) and I'm getting a tripod.

Opportunity cost.

Whether or not this investment will be worth it.
The cost of it is not a lot to some people but to me it is..

The sacrifices we make for our dreams.

p/s: free peacock jewellery from somewhere else 8)

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167/366: jumble

right now i'm a jumble:

incidents have opened my eyes:
the kind
the dark

friends crushed
friends lifted up
friends that changed
so inevitably

taking baby steps
pushing every fibre
of strength

hello world, i'm on this beautiful broken process towards my destination

hello blog, maybe i won't give up on you just yet

p/s : my camera's sick... hospital soon
pp/s : line camera (app) is awesome

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Dear blog (and blog readers),

I came back from kangarooland on Tuesday night and I'm going to Malacca today for a youth camp until Saturday.

Everything's happening so fast and I'm sorry I haven't update for many days.

Wait for me. Thank you.

God bless.


(I doubt there's wifi, so toodles!)
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154/366: new

A day full of new actions.

Tied my hair up like that today, after realising it's long enough. It looks a little out of place but it's a new style which I'll learn more (tying high buns etc.)

Wore new sheer stockings and boots that was bought just yesterday!

Got new leg sores due to friction of ankle with the uncomfortable boots! Boo!

Bought new souvenirs! (wait how can souvenirs bought ever be old?!)

Tried something new: walked to a nearby supermarket with emptylegs (no leggings, stockings, jeans etc.)...... Claire survived and conquered the cold !

New fresh milk. Obsessed.

Took new pictures (actually everyday every picture is new...)

You get my point. Just being lame with the word 'new'.


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Went to the Australian National Maritime Museum today... Been long since I've been to one. So little time, insufficient to explore much actually. But what moved me was to read some history about Titanic. Listening to a tour guide imparting knowledge about a WW2 ship named Vampire when we literally toured around the massive ship... was cool. I will go back. I must.

When we came back to the apartment, this spectacular view was what I saw.

My mind's boggled tonight thinking about the future. This trip really opened my eyes.... I need a peace of mind.

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150/366: happy

It's the 150th day of the year. Celebrate by counting your joys.

Today I'm happy because:

1. Central Station:
Taking public transport is a tad bit expensive but the journey is exciting. Trams especially, since we don't have that in Malaysia!!

2. Zinc Cafe:
Ah! Seeing this puts a smile on my face because it reminded me of some close friends back home. My nickname is 'zinc' to some of them, and see, I apparently own a cafe in Green Square!!! Hehehe.

3. Camera Casing:
Finally purchased a fitted camera casing (Canon EH-19L) for my baby!!!! Been scouting Malaysian shops and websites (hard to find) and ended up getting it here because it's cheaper! Ye-ah! Satisfaction.

4. Bird Modelling:
I love shooting animals that are friendly, not afraid of me, and is willing to pose for me. Contented with satisfying pictures.

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149/366: stable

Feeling stable right now in 2 ways: my family finally bought a stable portable wifi thingy that allows decent internet connection as previous attempts to associate with Internet sadly failed, and also, am feeling not so homesick as the past few days, hence, secured !

(holiday in Sydney now)

Will be blogging with pictures taken from my iPod this whole trip. Yay exciting change!

Tonight while walking across this view I felt wow. I wonder if the locals of the city themselves appreciate being able to live in this kind of surrounding.

Ate Chinese food at Chinatown today!!! Yippee glorious Chinese food because my mouth has been buttered with western.... Anyway loads of walking today. Sore feet. To buy or not to buy boots!

The weather's colddddd ;(

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144/366: funniest

This photo is funny in reasons only we'll understand.

Tonight was one of the funniest outings I had this year. Number points for summary:

  1. Undecided for what to eat, discussed western japanese asian choices and ended up in a cute small korean outlet !!!
  2. Discovered my very very hyper obsession for pretty shoes and rings, not good at all !
  3. Self-control for not buying. 
  4. Random random random roaming around heeee
  5. Caught a glimpse of one heart shape red traffic light !!!!!! Ahhhh :D
  6. Bought my first pair of shoe in 2012 :3 
  7. Love sitting in her car.
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142/366: (out)comfort

ignore my weird face, the angle is unflattering for me hahaha, but this picture is really priceless..

(out)comfort = out of comfort zone

I stepped out of my comfort zone and decided that letting a waiter take a picture is perfectly fine

Not caring what others think
When they look at us
Because nobody else normally would ask the waiter..... I mean cause it's just some normal dinner...

But because the memory is for my own :')

Stepping out of comfort zones are great. I feel a tiny wow. More to times like this !!!

What do you need to step out to do? Just do it because you only live ONCE !

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140/366: of

Of the most random place to take a group picture ever!

Of calling it our usual place.

Of the most last minute form 5 class (or a quarter of the class) reunion. Of bumping into 2 other friends. Of gold chili and snowflakes. Of random conversations.

Of being inspired by Shufei's "Of......." !

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139/366: grooming

So this is how HappyG looks when he is enjoying a car ride.

We brought him for his first grooming ever!

This is the before picture. No after picture sorry, heh.
He came home smelling the best he could ever smell. And being the most handsome dog in the neighbourhood !

Seriously, all dogs barks at him and he never barks at them when they do. I smell jealousy.

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135/366: bone

I don't know what I would be without him.
Through taking care of him I have learned things that I'll never learn elsewhere.

Gave him this bone today and he was munching it like it's the most important thing he has to do!

I recorded a video too!

Constantly reminded that as a human being, I have my family, loads of friends and people I can mingle around with. But for my dog (and all dogs), we're literally all that they have.

& to prevent my dog from being sad/get cranky/furious..... am trying my best to walk him everyday despite laziness, moodiness or busyness. & hopefully all you dog owners do the same!

Truth is, they probably love us more than we can ever love them back. We owe them love.

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134/366: mummy

To my most beautiful mum.

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133/366: passion.&.purity

I finished this book in the wee morning.

Memorable quotes: 
"But the things that we feel most deeply we ought to learn to be silent about, at least until we have talked them over thoroughly with God." (p.60) 
"Do something for somebody else. No matter who or where you are, there is something you can do, somebody who needs you. Pray that you may be an instrument of God's peace, that where there is loneliness you may bring joy." (p.80) 
"Let no our longing slay the appetite of our living." (p.80) 
"It's no use trying to measure suffering." (p.92) 
"If your goal is purity of heart, be prepared to be thought very odd." (p.130)
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132/366: mcd

I have a love-hate relationship with McD.

When I was in primary 6, I stayed back everyday after class until 6pm. McD was nearby, and the people I used to hang with went there constantly. For everything and anything.

& 7-11. For snacks, and mainly cup mee.

Seriously I think I drank more than 100 cups of McD coke that whole year.... and excluding the frequent free refills? At least 1 refill each time. If only I loathed it, I would have stop myself.

But I didn't. Only until after that year.

One reason I blame for my stunt growth. Other than that, it's a good sacrifice. Now I control my carbonated drinks as possible. Like tonight I'm reminded that I can't stand more than 1 cup...

What is that one unhealthy food/drink that had a side effect on you?

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