(07.07.2012)

Meet Sam, Alicia, and Grace.
Together their initials spell G.A.S.!

Rawr.

Great evening attending church service with them, & I signed up for Emerge KL 2012 with Aly, I'm slowly getting stoked about it !

We ate Thai food, Grace bought muruku(s), then we wandered in Mr.D.I.Y., and talked (and laughed) endlessly about the most random things. It's just plain, cosy company to me!

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This morning I've also been catching up through email/fb msg/sms (consecutively) with 1 friend who's currently in U.S., 1 friend who came back from the states, and another who came back from Aussie.

I don't know how to describe this but as I push myself out of my comfort zone to meet new people, and to connect with old friends that are beginning to scatter globally....... It's wow, because listening to and talking about stories, and dreams; situations, and opportunities: really empowers me. Sounds weird but I'm just learning a lot.

2012, I've been taking everything as a learning process, and I'm really grateful that God pushes me for my good, and I'm slowly heading towards who I'm called to be.

x

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(picture will be uploaded as soon)


tonight has been the most magical night, and if i don't write now, i fear i may forget what i'm feeling this instance, and whatever post after this attempting to describe what i feel now, could not match thence

death cab for cutie's transatlanticism is calming me,
as my fingers knit these
this song will never get old,
it's beauty transcends a thousand pop songs


to sum it all up i feel very blessed because of the small things that happened today
just grateful
through the tiny things that our love ones do
we can actually find blots and blots of care and love, all in disguise

bible study this morning, the hunger for God's word is growing incredibly
the piano tuner came after, i conclude that he's the best tuner i've met
my evening was spent admiring sunset, taking pictures with a simple camera that produced an amazing documentation of the wonderful moment spent
simple, affordable, fantastical thai dinner @ ihadthai, taipan

05072012, this special day was enchanted


& also because reading this just blew me away
the fuel driven to pursue one's passion, simply amazing


i'm so full of inspiration right now
as you've come to the end of this post, i intend to leave you nothing but hope

that if you have a massive dream, go for it
and if you're thinking of ending your life, don't.
never.
until you're meant to


life and everything life has to offer.

i'm ready.

x

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(30.06.2012, Sat)

What's your story?


Everyone has one.
Or tons.


Today I am greatly reminded that everyone's life story is so uniquely personal.. And being able to meet different kinds of people who share various stories... Is just plain amazing.


Some people are like an open book, and some a reserved soul. Either way everyone's incredible, just because.



Cheers to the beautiful strangers that we are bound to meet!



p/s: meet my super lame, yet amazing neighbour, Sam! :D

x

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(23.06.12, Sat)

You know sometimes when a friendship/relationship didn't work out, you still secretly wish the other party their best, and part of you still cares no matter how you try not to, or how people usually attempt to ignore their true feelings?

Why do people behave that way?

Why do some people in our lives go back to becoming strangers to us? The first stage?

Why do they rip off the little of what's left of what used to be, in order to leave us empty when we unconsciously end up reminiscing?

Everyone hurts. And we either keep hurting ourselves by running away and shaking off every past, or by forcing ourselves through the hurt to finally reach healing. Run or force?


I wonder why.

x

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Last night's moon.

(shot with mum's canon ixus 115,
zoom to the max if i remembered correctly, :D)

Thoughts on straight edge.
Thoughts on alcohol.

Thoughts on peer pressure.
Thoughts.


http://youtu.be/8_3KUgq5u5Q

"If you have a sip of alcohol, make sure it's for yourself."

x

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not a u-turn sign, but its vagueness as in being a "half u-turn" is equivalent to the vagueness of this post

Nights like this I feel like I'm steering through a fairly unfamiliar road.

Everything's vague.

They say don't live your life pleasing others. But it can be seen as loving them because we're doing things to make those people happy. Or because we want to be accepted by them, simply because we accept them, hence we love them enough to want to do everything to make them feel comfortable about us. Even if it means risking our values? Losing ourselves?

Sacrifice versus obedience. Which is right? The saying goes 'Obedience is always better than sacrifice', but why do some people feel that sacrifices are more meaningful? Opinions please.

U-turns in life. Worth it or not.

x

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The moon was astonishingly bright tonight.

Once I realize it I frantically asked my bro to Google "How To Take Moon Pictures"..... Haha.

The truth is, there's quite some settings prior to capturing a good moon picture using a DSLR!

But I'm only using the basic kit lens, that's why it's so small... Hmms...
Shall try my mum's digital' zoom lens some other night! I desperately hope that I am constantly motivated and moved to improve my photography.

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Cleared some papers today. Sometimes I find myself having an extremely hard time deciding whether to keep or throw certain papers. Old notes. Random stuff people wrote. Random drawing. Event preparation' scribbles etc. etc.. I end up sitting there asking around the same questions upon each paper that I'm undecided: Will I need this in 5 years? Will I even have time to come back for this? In 50 years' time does this even matter anymore? Does this paper really record that special memory? But why should an important memory be based on a paper? How much time in my life will be wasted if I just keep looking back and holding on to these papers? Will I even have time? If I do, isn't it a waste of time to linger?


I have been rather silent today but my mind have been constantly thinking. Sometimes we hold on to the weirdest bits of items just so we can reminisce some familiar feeling. The past. The beautiful memories. The people we knew before they changed. It's so hard to choose which paper is really for keeps. Cards and letters I will never ever throw, but I'm speaking about papers. Those random papers we just randomly keep... Yet I still have my pictures. When I realize that once I have pictures, I can remember just enough amazing moments... I'm contented. 

So goodbye papers.

x

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I spent several moments of the day to finally digest my thoughts about this week' 2nd round.

Once again, I thank God that I won. The down side is that I dropped from rank 12 to rank 75 this week ! Scary part is that I need to really push the limits as next week there will only be 40 winners instead of 80.

When I found out that I'm blessed with the chance to buy an iPod touch at only RM7, I should be happy. Yet instead I was sad as Sher, Paul, and my brother didn't win!

They surely are disappointed although they don't display it. I knew they were SO close to winning. The bars are set so high this week.

Then, I finally shrug off my sadness, because I'm comforted that one day Sher, Paul, and my brother will win something(s) they ultimately desire !

To finally understand that the thing about contests is that.......... there will always be winning and losing. I really don't know how to explain my situation (mum calls 'winning streak'), but I just want to give all thanks to God for all the opportunities and exposure.

To realize that I only won the contests that I deserve (or need) at that moment of time. This year I participated in quite some amount of contests... and I did win most of it, but I still lost the others (of which some crushed me) too !

And I'm fine with it. You know why? You win and you lose. Here I am praying so hard to win, and there's like so many more people out there praying too ! So when the results out and you did not win does it mean that God did not answer your prayers? No, because He knows what you need, and you will have your time of winning one day ! Trust me, you WILL !

Remember to only participate in contests that you really want to win, because if not you should give the chance to someone else who wants to win it! And also if you do participate in a contest, pour your whole HEART in it, because if you win, GREAT, if you didn't, FINE, because you gave your BEST ! Also, stay humble stay humble stay humble ! :) 

Such a long-winded post, apologies.

x

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Incredibly gloomy day.

Until I wrote a song, with the above sentence as my first verse' lyric.

Saw this quote in tumblr recently, and was amazed by the truth of it. Currently this few words that screams such meaning is carved into the depths of my mind as a constant reminder.

My song written was a dedication to those struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts/tendencies.

If you are one of them, my heart goes out to you and I hope you NEVER give up in life, because you are truly LOVED, and depression may be recurrent (I poured my heart to research it on my English research project last year), but I concluded that it is CURABLE despite many arguments against it. Don't lose hope, slowly allow yourself to stop thinking so much and you will be set FREE. *hugs*


If I ever record it, I'll definitely credit whoever came up with this quote first.

x

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"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven" — Ecclesiastes 3: 1

Was hanging a large pile of clothes today and something about Timing struck me.

Those who deal with laundry daily will understand, that you need to wash and hang your clothes as early as possible because you don't know what weather the day holds. You hope, wish, and pray for maximum sunshine the whole day.

So some maids/mums I know, will wake up as early as 5.30am to 6am to start doing their laundry!

It takes so much dedication for that. And I'm praying for the same amount of dedication... Because there's just so much I need to do. One thing I'm inspired: We all have time. It's our initiation that matters.

And another thing about timing is, there is a right timing for everything. Sometimes we don't see the bigger picture, but the friendly reminder is that if it's meant to be, it will always come true regardless how many days or years. If it's not, it's not.

I could be praying for sunshine. But what if you're praying for rain because you need natural pouring for your plants? So who gets it first? Well: at the end there will always be sunshine or rain ! It's the timing ! :D

Don't let your time own you, you own your time.

x

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Watching my childhood favorite TVB drama: 'Gods of Honour'.

A lot of things in life are grey nowadays.

They are neither black, nor white; but they are stuck in the zone of grey shades.

Just like the character in the TV screen above; she was initially a very kind-hearted and beautiful girl. But because she was recognized with a fate that will ruin her whole country, she was treated differently and I perceive it as a form of bias. Long story cut short, she became evil....... But I still think that her personality is grey because of her initial goodness. We can't justify that she's completely evil because I feel that her base was covered with innocence. She was only ruined by the people around her. Therefore, grey, get it ?

Just like certain issues in the society, which I find lying in the grey zone. For example, homosexuality, tattoos..... etc. etc. My only point of view is that they are in the grey zone because there will always be people SUPPORTING it and AGAINST it, and at the end of the day............ it's like shades of grey because no matter how many people are for it there will still be people against it right? With all forms of perceptions and quotations people start to fight........... I just hope for more love instead of fights. Seemingly, I myself am actually grey as to not support or not to be against it, if you get what I mean.

Learning a lot about life, my thoughts could evolve.
A heart to learn, an open mind, and being grounded will allow this process to be not so challenging.
& never forget to love your neighbor as yourself!

x

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