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176/366: express

I drew to express my emotions.

It doesn't make sense, just playing around.

After my piano exams I have so many things I wanna do, including experimenting with art.


But right now I need to put my head into the game. I need to embrace this process. I need to stop wishing it away. I had a 'wake up call' dream last night.


Honestly I've been practicing.
Honestly it's not enough.
Honestly I need to prioritise more.
Honestly today I'm down.
Honestly I'm blaming on the female monthly friend/enemy.

Honestly.


x
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175/366: gone

(23.06.12, Sat)

You know sometimes when a friendship/relationship didn't work out, you still secretly wish the other party their best, and part of you still cares no matter how you try not to, or how people usually attempt to ignore their true feelings?

Why do people behave that way?

Why do some people in our lives go back to becoming strangers to us? The first stage?

Why do they rip off the little of what's left of what used to be, in order to leave us empty when we unconsciously end up reminiscing?

Everyone hurts. And we either keep hurting ourselves by running away and shaking off every past, or by forcing ourselves through the hurt to finally reach healing. Run or force?


I wonder why.

x

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172/366: boxes

So my plan of stacking boxes succeeded (mentioned in yesterday's post).


Today is officially Claire's most tiring day in 2012.

x
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171/366: repositioning

Set this picture as my iPod's lock screen, so that every time I intend to procrastinate, I'll be somewhat reminded that I should be practising instead. Focus.


This picture was taken this morning at my family's new humble home. One empty house with only a piano, it felt like I was performing on stage where the sound was so loud, clear, and echoey. Creepy at first, but it felt wow later on.


Packing commences. I don't know how what where why who.... but it seems like I have kazillions of loose paper (printed, handwritten, empty) in my current bedroom....... even though I pretty much recycle a whole lot of paper about every beginning and end of the year!

Right now there's no time for me to select whats for keep, recycle, throw, and give..... but to literally chunk everything into boxes and boxes! Ok. The idea is to stack them all up to the top, in a corner of my new room.... And when my piano exam is over by end July, I'll unpack and sort hopefully one box per week.

Then, I'll be a clutter-free and organised princess.

x)
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170/366: sentimental

Packing my jewellery and couldn't resist taking a picture of this.

Found so much old stuff etc. camp and event participation name tags!

To throw or not.


Why do humans cling onto things?

I don't know if it makes sense but I'm clearing stuff and thinking ahead, like whether the 25-year-young Claire would throw away said items. Or will the 57-year-old Claire be grumpy if there are mountains of unnecessary stuff compiled over the years !

Hmmms.


Go clean a drawer, and tell me what you threw away and what you kept.

x
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169/366: cost

Mum bought a tripod for me that cost RM199. The funny thing is that I keep pondering whether it's worth it.

Like normal girls my age would probably be buying fashionable stuffs(which i would want) and I'm getting a tripod.

Opportunity cost.


Whether or not this investment will be worth it.
The cost of it is not a lot to some people but to me it is..

The sacrifices we make for our dreams.



p/s: free peacock jewellery from somewhere else 8)

x
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167/366: jumble

right now i'm a jumble:
thoughts
dreams
inspirations
priorities
situations
timing
emotions.

incidents have opened my eyes:
the kind
the dark
differences
love
grace.

friends crushed
friends lifted up
friends that changed
so inevitably

taking baby steps
pushing every fibre
of strength
hope
faith


hello world, i'm on this beautiful broken process towards my destination


hello blog, maybe i won't give up on you just yet

p/s : my camera's sick... hospital soon
pp/s : line camera (app) is awesome

x
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notice

Dear blog (and blog readers),

I came back from kangarooland on Tuesday night and I'm going to Malacca today for a youth camp until Saturday.

Everything's happening so fast and I'm sorry I haven't update for many days.

Wait for me. Thank you.

God bless.

x

(I doubt there's wifi, so toodles!)
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154/366: new

A day full of new actions.

Tied my hair up like that today, after realising it's long enough. It looks a little out of place but it's a new style which I'll learn more (tying high buns etc.)

Wore new sheer stockings and boots that was bought just yesterday!

Got new leg sores due to friction of ankle with the uncomfortable boots! Boo!

Bought new souvenirs! (wait how can souvenirs bought ever be old?!)

Tried something new: walked to a nearby supermarket with emptylegs (no leggings, stockings, jeans etc.)...... Claire survived and conquered the cold !

New fresh milk. Obsessed.

Took new pictures (actually everyday every picture is new...)

You get my point. Just being lame with the word 'new'.

Coughs.

x
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